FORGIVENESS IS NOT
22nd November Definitely one of the most difficult topic for any of us Right?
Why should we forgive someone for hurting us? Or for letting us down .. being means, unfair, abusive, etc, etc. Can I share my views on Why?
Because we are only harming and hurting ourselves in this process.
“He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. ” ~ DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
We truly need to understand and accept what Forgiveness is and is not. It is a choice – our choice. The minute we think of it as something we have to do, it will not work because we are doing it out of any other energy but Love. Love for yourself to let go and move on. The only, truly way forgiveness works is when we do it out of love. And most Importantly Love for Yourself. The person being most impacted is You. You are holding onto emotions, anger, worry, hatred and the other person may have just moved on .. So why forgive? Because You want to be in a happier state of mind and live with no regrets. To be happy and carefree and live a life of love, laughter and lightness we need to forgive and move on.
The one thing we can understand is that it is not about forgetting. It is about fully accepting what happened happened, and the past cannot be changed. If these things are still happening in your life, then just accept and realise that You cannot change other people and trying to change them is causing us more grief. We cannot change what has happened .. but as I always share with You’ll we can change the way we react to situations. The way we react, or respond to a situation can completely change it. If your car breaks down ..you can either fret and fume and figure out a way to fix it or just say ok this has happened .. what do I do with this time I have been given to make the most of it! Is it that simple? Yes .. It’s your choice.
I read somewhere that the stupid neither forgive nor forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
I do believe that there is NOTHING that cannot be forgiven. Yes, people say what about murder, what about rape etc. Yes .. these are awful, despicable and one truly feels that these people should not be forgiven. In the words of psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl,
“Everything can be taken from a man but … the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Mr Staines had worked with lepers for more than 30 years before he and his two sons, Philip, aged 10 and Timothy, aged 6, was burnt by Hindu fundamentalists while sleeping in their old Willy jeep station wagon in Manoharpur village in Odisha, India in January, 1999.
Despite the incredible pain of losing her soulmate and youngest children, Gladys remained in India for years, continuing to care for leprosy patients until she returned to Australia in 2004. And her line “ We have Forgiven them “ is something that lingered in many people’s hearts and ears for years after.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~ MAHATMA GANDHI
So is Forgiveness a sign of weakness – No definitely a sign of strength.
You are an amazing being of infinite possibility and when you choose forgiveness you move into the remembering that you have a light within you and no matter what you have done or what’s been done to you – it will never go out.
There are so many tools one can use for forgiveness.
A simple one is to write a letter to the person or situation. Write all that You feel, vent and honestly just say and write everything that You want to. PLEASE do not give them the letter ( ha ha ) That will not help. Instead, keep the letter somewhere safe and you will know when you are ready .. and once you Just burn it. The process of writing helps you release any and all energies and emotions which are unnecessarily trapped within You.
My favorite is Ho’oponopono which I use with Tapping. ( I am happy to teach you this simple, but powerful method if you are Interested )
This quote sums it all ..
“Most of us can forgive and forget; we just don’t want the other person to forget that we forgave.” “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”